


Space

by kafrickinboom



Series: Voltron WLW Month [8]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Emotionally Hurt Keith (Voltron), Established Relationship, Explicit Language, F/F, Genderbending, I'll come back to edit this later if necessary, Lance (Voltron) Fucks Up, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Mutual Pining, Not Beta Read, Pre-OT3, Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, VLD WLW Month, Voltron WLW Month 2017, i wrote this in a day, space
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-12 18:25:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11742639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kafrickinboom/pseuds/kafrickinboom
Summary: Wherein Landa fucks up, Kath needs a lot of space, and Shiro's just done with the both of them.





	Space

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not super confident in this one, but after this month's challenge is over, I _may_ edit this to oblivion. We shall see. 
> 
> Language notes:  
> Dios - God  
> Mierda - shit

Shiro frowns as she watches Kath and Landa fight for what feels like the hundredth time this week. 

It’s always been ridiculously tense between them, their personalities just rubbing each other the wrong way- Landa’s insecurities manifest in a way that created a(n imaginary) rivalry with Kath in order to prove that she could beat Kath, whom she sees as her greatest competitor (even though Kath has repeatedly said it’s not a competition). Kath’s fuse is far too short to do anything but respond to Landa’s instigation in kind, notching the tension higher and higher until it explodes into a yelling match. It’s always been petty bickering and skin-deep insults...until recently.

Shiro always tries to stop it, but ever since she and Kath had started dating, Landa and Kath’s arguments have made strides from playful banter and cat tongue-rough digs to venom and barbs that cut deep, honing in on each other’s weak spots, often leaving one or both of them reeling in the aftermath. 

This fight is one of those, and it’s cutting way too close to home on both sides for Shiro to do anything but attempt to put an end to it  _ now. _

“Oh, poor baby, Landa. You missing your Mama?” Kath pouts, exaggerating her frown and batting those big, violet eyes up at Landa mockingly.

“Fuck off, Kogane. At least I  _ have _ a Mama,” and as soon as the words are out everything freezes, Shiro and Landa included. All traces of anger falling off her shoulders, Landa looks like she wants to pluck the words from the air between them and shove them back in her mouth. Her eyes wide and apologetic as she reaches out, sputtering apologies that trip out to fast and too guiltily to make any kind of sense. Her voice catches, warbling when Kath flinches away from her.

Shiro can just make out the sheen of tears filling Kath’s eyes as she silently turns and stalks in the direction her room. She wants to follow, but she knows the only thing Kath needs to room to breathe and sort out her feelings on her own.

Pidge shakes their head, standing up, probably to follow Kath. Shiro doesn’t try and stop her- Kath will do that on her own. Before they pass, they pause beside Landa for a moment with a sharp, “what the hell is wrong with you?”

“Jesus, Landa,” Hunk sighs off to Landa’s other side as she gapes helplessly after Pidge and Kath, shaking his head as his voice trails off to something only she can hear. He pats her shoulder, granting her a look of sympathy that Shiro doesn’t understand before heading off to do his own thing.

Allura glares at Landa before turning to return to the castle-ship’s controls, and Coran uncomfortably shifts in place before suggesting Landa apologize to Kath sooner rather than later, leaving to support the princess.

Shiro’s left with Landa who’s staring down at her hands like they somehow betrayed her. She closes her eyes, her expression filled with shame and such obvious remorse that Shiro feels a tug inside her to do  _ something _ to make her never look like that again, but Shiro forcefully shakes the thought off.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately, but it needs to stop,” Shiro says, using the same commanding tone when she’s leading the team.

Landa’s head snaps up as if she’d forgotten about Shiro. Maybe in the depths of her guilt, she’d thought Shiro chased after her girlfriends rather than giving Kath the space Shiro knew she needs. 

Landa’s eyes are swimming, and Shiro’s confused by the anguish in them. She knows Landa cares for Kath more than she admits, and she knows Landa’s not actually a bad person, but...this, Shiro wasn’t expected. She’d expected Landa to straighten up, throw her walls up and maybe apologize for going too far. Shiro hadn’t expected the level of hurt behind Landa’s own eyes as if hurting Kath somehow hurt her as well.

“I’m so sorry,” Landa eventually chokes out, hastily knuckling the tears from the corners of her eyes. “Sh-should I talk to Kath now or…? I know she probably needs some time and space, but I-I  _ have _ to make this right if I can.”

“Give her a couple days to cool down. I’ll talk to her.” Shiro says, and doesn’t miss the way Landa’s lips twist, eyes dropping to her anxiously wringing hands, irritation drawing her face into a pinch a moment before swallowing thickly with a slow nod.

“Please, just...tell her I’m sorry?” Landa asks, eyes darting up from under her tear-clumped lashes.

Shiro nods, “I’ll tell her.”

\---

Landa is  _ freaking out. _ When Shiro had suggested giving Kath some space, she’d expected two, three days  _ max, _ for Kath to be willing to be in the same room as her, but no. Here they are, a full week later, and Kath still refuses to even eat while Landa does.

On one hand, she fully and completely gets it. Landa’s insecurities and jealousy (of multiple things for multiple reasons) and frustration had gotten the best of her, morphing,  _ tainting _ their fun, fake little rivalrous fight into something sharp and dripping with poison. She’d used one of the items on List of Things to Never Ever in Your Life,  _ Ever _ Say to Kath as a dagger, slipping between the plates of Kath’s armor Landa knows she’s cobbled together with glue and twine.

Landa knows Kath’s walls are poorly constructed, held together with sheer will. Her temper lends credence to that fact, explosive and intense, but Landa’s honestly not even surprised her dig didn’t trip over the detonator.

It had been too harsh, too close to home, too buried deep behind that armor and inside those walls, so sure no one would be able to touch it, and here came Landa, sending in a thoughtlessly thrown cherry bomb from Kath’s blind spot. 

On the other hand, she just wants everything to be  _ okay _ again.

She knows she fucked up,  _ badly, _ and has tried to say she’s sorry more times than she can count, but Kath refuses to be anywhere Landa is for more than the time it takes for her to stalk off again. 

Meals together? Not happening. Hanging out, even with the rest of the team? She begged off, claiming she was “tired.” Three nights in a row. At around 7:30pm every time (and Landa is pretty sure Kath hasn't gone to bed earlier than 11 since they got here). (Landa has stopped trying to hang with the gang.) Seeing Landa in the hall? Kath would stare blankly for approximately two seconds before making an about-face and booking it away from her. She wouldn’t even train with Landa anymore, and you  _ know _ it’s bad when Kath won’t even fight you.

Landa has tried multiple times over the last week to get back on Kath’s good graces to no avail. Not only has she shouted her apologies down the hall all those times Kath ran away, but she’s also taken to writing letters and making food as well! She’s made flan and cookies and even tried to make some form of Korean rice cakes in a futile effort to sooth the sting and to make up for her mistakes. She waited until she knew Kath was in her room, leaving the desserts with a little note on top. Every time, she’d knocked on Kath’s door, playing ding-dong ditch, but always hiding around the corner so she could see Kath’s reaction, and every time, the small, surprised smile melted to a deep frown when reading the note, only to crumple it up and leave the offerings where they were.

Landa didn’t know what to do. She’d even taken to swallowing her pride (and the other side of her envy), talking to Shiro at length about how shitty she felt. Landa wasn’t the more open person when it came to her  _ real _ feelings, more likely to throw on her flirty, cocky veneer so no one would even consider pressing her too deeply, but after her mistake, she’s been feeling...helpless. 

Shiro had looked surprised when Landa first came up and asked her if she could talk to her...alone. Landa had ignored her heart beating like a drum at Shiro’s proximity, at the smudge of thick, black lashes against Shiro’s pale skin, at Shiro’s dark eyes boring into hers. Landa had come to her not only because she was their team’s leader, but also she’s Kath’s girlfriend. It was a study in ignoring the sharp, green twist of nausea and envy, talking to Shiro about Kath. 

It was difficult,  _ impossible, _ not to feel the smothered by her feelings, not only because Landa fucked up so royally, but because Landa was pining something  _ fierce _ for not only Shiro, but Kath too. 

They’re just so perfect, so  _ beautiful _ together, tall and domineering, intense and intelligent and confident (in a real way, not the phony front Landa puts up). They have months, maybe even years, of friendship under their belts, of learning each other, learning each other’s rough edges and learning how they fit together- and Landa has nothing on that. With either of them. 

She’s just bound to be alone, she guesses, but after her massive failure as a friend, she’d come to realize that as long as she had them in her life at all,  _ that’s _ all that really matters. So, she’d come to Shiro as some sort of last resort to gain some insight into how to approach Kath when she doesn’t want to be approached. Needless to say, those conversations led nowhere- you can’t make Kath do a damn thing she doesn’t want to do...unless you’re Shiro and you use that soft, gentle tone that made Kath more pliable.

Alas, Landa is not Shiro, and Landa’s going out of her damn mind trying to find a way to make this right. Everyone keeps saying Kath just needs more space, more space,  _ more space, _ but Landa has never been good with playing the waiting game.

She’s not great when left to her own thoughts. Never has been. She’s prone to fatalism, overthinking herself as a whole. Shit like ‘maybe I’m the weak link of the team,’ ‘I bring nothing to the table,’ and ‘all I do is ruin shit.’ 

Really, what has she done? She’s repeatedly tripped them up, sometimes literally when they’re in Voltron form. She’s gotten herself in trouble to the point that the team had to come save her multiple times (she’s still not over the humiliation of Nyma handcuffing her to the tree- Kath had made fun of her for it for  _ weeks). _ She’s an insatiable flirt, and while that’s not a problem for Landa, she knows it embarrasses the others. And now? She’s gone and hurt one of the people she cares about most in the word, someone she’s come to respect a-and... _ love. _

And, to add insult to her own self-inflicted injury (because hurting Kath hurts her too, okay), she disappointed Shiro- beautiful, strong, kind, self-assured goddess heroine that is  _ Shiro- _ with her carelessness as well. Over the time they’ve all been here on the castle-ship, Landa’s objective worship of the Star of the Garrison had grown complicated, throwing in another layer of respect for her resilience through all the shit Shiro’s been through, a layer of awe for Shiro’s ability to lead their team like it’s second nature, a layer of sympathy for the repercussive PTSD effects, and a layer of pure reverence for her personality- so calm, so steady and sure, so warm, so much of everything Landa isn’t. The fact that she’s a fucking bombshell on par with Kath has done nothing to quell her feelings for her as well.

Landa is a fucking mess.

So, here she is, laying in her bed and the heels of her palms pressing so tightly to her closed eyes, colors and flashes dance behind her eyes to try and scrub the image of Kath’s pure devastation from her mind. She just can’t get it out of her head and it’s driving her absolutely  _ crazy. _ Landa just wants to pull Kath into her arms to love all the pain out of her, beg for forgiveness, press kisses of apology into Kath’s lily-white skin. She wants to make everything okay between them again. 

In her ideal alternate reality, Kath and Shiro love her back (or are at least  _ interested), _ and Landa never gets so fucking envious of what they have because they’d ask her to join their relationship, and she’d never have hurt Kath. Of course, reality is much,  _ much _ suckier.

She doesn’t know how much more space she can give Kath- she’s already started avoiding just about everyone else if she spotted Kath in the vicinity- or how much she can take before she honestly explodes in a righteous, Kath-like rage.

\---

Kath feels like shit. 

She doesn’t  _ want _ to ignore Landa like this per se, but she just can’t be around Landa right now. 

Kath’s list of people she trusts is extremely short, limited to the other members of Team Voltron. It had taken a while for her to let herself relax around the others as much as she has- months of time spent with one another, learning the ins and outs of what makes each other tick, at least on a certain level. Even now she’s still yet to completely let down her guard, and apparently, with good reason.

Her mental armor and emotional walls she’s constructed have worked to keep people at bay, keeping them from seeing her vulnerable spots, or at the very least prevented any barbs from clinging and festering in her mind. She’d never expected Landa of all people to sink a verbal dagger in her back.

In the beginning, she and Landa butted heads like crazy, brought on by Landa’s ridiculous claim that Kath was always trying to one-up her, and by Landa’s need to have someone to beat. Since Shiro has always been kind of untouchable with her talents, and Hunk and Pidge were already Landa’s friends before they converged at that little government lab they saved Shiro from, of  _ course _ Kath was going to be her target. Or maybe Landa genuinely did think they were rivals back at the Garrison- Kath isn’t quite sure. 

What she  _ is _ sure about is that Landa has ceased to take their rivalry seriously, trading actual antagonism with camaraderie somewhere along the way between Kath cradling Landa in her arms and the first time Landa got Kath through that cursed invisible maze. Somewhere along the way, Kath had been granted Landa’s genuine smiles, stories of her childhood and life back on Earth, and an extended hand of friendship that Kath hadn’t seen coming. 

It had done nothing to quell her budding feelings for the blue paladin, and she’d spent  _ months _ pining after two women at the same time. Of course, one of those women being her best friend, heard all about the woes of crushing on a straight girl, and of  _ course, _ as soon as the whole Nyma situation went down, Shiro laughed at Kath’s misfortunate for  _ days _ after the fact (in the privacy of their hangouts, of course- Shiro isn't a  _ complete _ jerk).

It was during those long conversations with Shiro that she realized that they’d been harboring a crush on the same damn person. Landa. Shiro might not have explicitly said it back then, but Kath could see it in the way her cheeks would flush when the topic of Landa came up, or when Landa was around. You could say all of that was for Kath as well since, looking back, Shiro had also had her eye on Kath as well, but back then all Kath saw was the way Shiro looked at Landa.

She saw the wide eyes flickered down to Landa’s lips when they stretched into that sunrise smile, and Shiro’s not-so-subtle nervous gulp when Landa swung an arm around Shiro's shoulders. Kath saw the way Shiro’s own smile grew more relaxed and open when Landa was around. Kath saw the way Shiro would unthinkingly sway into Landa’s space, her smile growing sharper when Landa’s eyes flew wide, words tripping out in a flustered sputtering. 

Kath had also noted the way Landa responded to both Shiro’s  _ and _ her flirting. She noticed the way Landa’s outrageous flirting fell away when Shiro or Kath went along with it, suddenly bashful behind her flaming cheeks and wavering smile. Kath noticed Landa just being more  _ present _ in her and Shiro’s lives, like joining Kath in her late-night training despite Landa’s incurable laze, heart-to-hearts shared in the cooldown, and asking her to teach Landa some Korean (“because she was interested,” she’d claimed). Landa had been there during one of Shiro’s more unfortunate memory triggers, leading to an intense panic attack that had honestly terrified Kath...until Landa fell to her knees beside Shiro, calmly asking what she needed and doling out simple commands like ‘breathe with me’ and ‘stay in the present’ interspersed with reassurances like ‘you’re safe’ and ‘you can get through this.’

When asked later how she knew what to do, Landa had shrugged with an easy smile, citing her position as the middle child in her family for know what to do. Apparently her little brother was prone to panic attacks and no one could pull him from tipping over into ‘too much’ quite like ‘his amazing and obviously favorite sister.’

Everything turned after Kath and Shiro finally got their shit together and decided to give their potential a shot. 

Kath had observed the way Landa pulled into herself like a stretched rubbed band snapping back to place. She stopped hanging out with Shiro and Kath when they were together, claiming she didn’t want to be a third wheel, especially in the honeymoon phase (the fake smile was so wooden, both she and Shiro winced at the sight of it. Landa had taken that as them agreeing that she would, in fact, be a third wheel, turning and leaving without so much as a ‘see you later’). 

Landa had put up as good of a front as she could, Kath supposed, but to literally all of them, with the exception of Shiro (because Shiro had frustratingly taken  _ ages _ to believe that Kath had a genuine interest in her ‘that way,’ and is still in adamant denial that Landa holds that same attraction), it was glaringly obviously. 

She’d always watched them when she thought they weren’t looking, but now Kath sees the longing in her eyes. Kath sees the once perfectly manicured nails short and rough as if they’d been bitten off. The recent lack of effort in Landa’s hair and makeup is also notable considering how much time she’d put into her appearance previously. She still looks beautiful, but it’s as if someone had taken the glorious flame that made Landa  _ Landa _ and turned it down to a small flicker, a dulled down version of herself that’s been worrying Kath for weeks.

Landa’s become more reckless, more careless about...well, everything. Their synchronicity as Voltron had been thrown off, like a once flawlessly played major chord now marred by an accidental. Her relationships with the others, save maybe Hunk, have been growing more tense. She’s hidden herself away from the world more often, her veneer painted on thick whenever she was out of her room or in Blue’s hangar. And her temper…

Well, now we’re back to the present, where Landa’s sadness and insecurity and jealousy have culminated to using the most hurtful shit she could to tear Kath down. All because she doesn’t know how to communicate like a mature human being.

Kath just needs a lot of time and space, with herself and with Shiro, to figure out how she feels and what she wants to do.

Also, if her avoidance of Landa knocks some maturity into her infuriatingly adorable head, that wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

\---

Landa hasn’t come out of her room in three days.

Shiro knows this because she’s the leader. She’s always watching out for her team, and she always noticed anomalies in their behavior for when she needs to step in and help to the best of her ability. It is  _ not _ because she has a hopeless crush on the woman in question, and according to Kath, it is  _ not _ because Kath is being so petty at this point that she refuses to check for herself (even though Shiro has stated multiple times that Kath can only be petty if Landa is there to  _ know _ she’s still being avoided).

Anyway, they’re all eating together with the exception of one glaringly bright exception, and it’s...awkward. The conversations are quieter than normal, stilted and clumsy as they all shoot glances toward the empty seat beside Kath

It’s been ten days since Landa cut Kath to the quick, and while everyone including Shiro was disappointed and angry with Landa in the beginning, now they’re starting to feel a bit hollow.

It’s been six days since Landa had even hung out with them all, so obviously trying to give Kath the space she so clearly wanted that she sacrificed her time with the team to give it to her. Hunk usually took a plate to her room afterward, but Shiro had once caught her eating by herself in the dim kitchen after they’d all dispersed, melancholy sitting heavy on her furrowed brow, hanging heavy from the corners of her downturned mouth.

Shiro didn’t ever want to see such a pitiful sight again.

And she got her wish, she guesses, but the price for that was a serious lack of Landa’s face around the castle-ship, significant silence and the sight of cold, uneaten food sitting outside her bedroom door. 

Regardless of what Allura seems to think about Shiro’s importance as a leader to this team,  _ Landa _ has been the heart of them all since the beginning, refusing to let  _ any _ of them, Alteans included, fall too far into despair or rage or self-pity or even boredom. She’s there for a silly quip or a funny story or even just being there as a sounding board for her friends, even if she doesn’t fully comprehend what they’re going through- like the night she sat with Pidge for hours listening to them talk about how much they felt they’ve let Matt down by not being able to find him yet, or listening to Allura wistfully warbling through stories of old Altea, or listening to Coran dramatic regale her with stories from his youth, complete with dances and reenactments. Hunk says whenever he’s feeling lonely, he just goes to chill with Landa since one, she’s his best friend, and two, she’s the one person who wouldn’t even think about saying no.

She was there for her and Kath too before the announcement of their relationship.  _ (Maybe Kath has a point about Landa being jealous? Landa had never avoided them before.)  _

She just gives and gives and gives without any real expectation of anything in return, and it breaks Shiro’s heart because she  _ knows _ Landa thinks she’s the weakest link in the team. Her slipping up and hurting Kath… That guilt she’s worn so heavily on her shoulders for the last ten days can’t be doing anything good thing for her.

At first, Allura had given Kath some room, recognizing the severity of Landa’s betrayal, but after a full week had passed, filled with shakiness in their Voltron form, and especially after the night before Landa locked herself in her room when they’d actually failed to form altogether for the first time in  _ months, _ she tried to make Kath see reason, to convince her to just listen to Landa, but Kath had just cut her off with a terse, “soon.” 

Shiro stands up abruptly, startling everyone at the table. She frowns at her girlfriend, saying, “I’m sorry. I can’t sit around and do nothing anymore. If you won’t give Landa the time of day,  _ I _ will.”

And she storms off in the direction of their rooms, leaving behind surprised, pleased faces, ignoring the harsh slaps of Kath’s shoes against the floor as she tries to keep up.

“Wait! Shiro!” Kath says as Shiro turns the corner.

Shiro stops, turning her weary expression to meet her. “What,” she asks flatly.

“I’m sorry,” Kath sighs. “I let this get too out of hand.”

“You think?” Shiro huffs, raising a brow at Kath’s wince. “I’m not even the one you should apologize to. You should go in there and talk to Landa yourself.”

Kath nods, turning her gaze to the ceiling as she releases a deep exhale. “Okay.”

\---

Landa doesn’t think she’s moved in three days for anything but bathroom breaks that have started to peter off as she continues just...not eating. Thankfully she’d thought to sneak a water bottle in her room ages ago, so she won’t get dehydrated while she lies here, but the increasingly loud growls at her stomach have started become more desperate.

She knows she should just come out and eat...and shower and brush her teeth and interact with other people, but like...she just can’t. Depression has never been an easy illness to tackle, and with this whole situation between her and, well, everyone has only sent her to darker places.

Back on Earth, when her depression stopped her from taking care of herself, she had a slew of family members who would at least come and sit with her so she wouldn't feel lonely. She had people who were there to make absolutely sure she ate (and didn’t just put it off), and who reassured her that she wasn’t, in fact, crazy just because of her mental illness. She lost all that the day they flew through that damned wormhole and landed on Arus.

She knows Hunk means well by giving her space to just deal with her own shit and leaving food out in front of her door, but she just can’t find the energy to go get it. Even if she did, she isn’t sure she’d eat it. Her depression has always come with the one-two punch of zapping her energy and will to do anything, and a complete lack of appetite. 

So, she’s been lying here in bed for the last, wrapped up in every blanket she could find, burrito-ed away from the world. 

Don’t get her wrong- she’s been desperately trying to claw her way out of this emotional rut so she can return to acting like a normal person, but the guilt has only been collecting over the past week, dragging her back down again. She doesn’t  _ want _ to be like this, but what choice does she have?

Kath refuses to be in the same room as her, and Landa can’t be the person to take away from Kath’s time with the team.  _ Landa _ is the shithead.  _ Landa _ hurt one of the people she loves.  _ She’s _ the one at fault here, and Kath shouldn’t have to pay further for just wanting more space. Ka-

A quick rap on the door cuts through her introspection, and she doesn’t even turn as she rasps out a quick “no thanks, buddy” to Hunk.

A low “fuck this” in a tone that jolts her into sitting up, into the first feeling of anything but  _ numb _ in the last few days, is the only warning she gets before her door opens. Landa winces, at the sudden bright light in her eyes  _ and _ the sharp gasp from her doorway. 

Her light is thrown on and it takes Landa a few seconds for her eyes to readjust. When she feels like her corneas are  _ not, _ in fact, going to burn, she cracks one open, immediately startling at Kath’s sudden proximity. Kath’s eyes are wider than Landa has ever seen them, a war of guilt, concern, despair and anger beneath furrowed brows. Her full lips are a perfect, gently arc downward in a frown that has no place on her beautiful face. Her cheeks look drained of color, like she could actually be  _ worried _ about Landa.

And suddenly, she’s overwhelmed.

After  _ three days _ of feeling close to nothing, after a full  _ ten _ of being deprived of seeing more than the back of Kath’s head, Landa feels tears burn hot behind her eyes, filling until they spill in thick tracks down her cheeks. She feels her brows furrow, her lips curling up, her nose scrunching as the weight of her own emotions, previously thrown behind the wall of depression, comes rushing back in powerful waves. She tries to stop it (she knows she’s an ugly crier), but it feels like trying to patch a dam with band aids. 

She retreats inside her burrito, morphing it into a cocoon so she can further hide from Kath’s soft eyes. She doesn’t deserve that. Not after building strong friendships with Katch and Shito only to cut herself off from them after their happy announcement. Not after fucking up time after time. Not after  _ taking a dig at Kath’s lack of family. _

“Landa, can you come out of there?” Kath asks gently when her (embarrassing) sobs quiet down, and Landa is thrown off by it. She peeks a teary eye out from the opening of her burrito, confused and curious when Kath tilts her head with a sad, little smile. Landa sighs, moving to poke her face from the hole, but that’s all she’s willing to do right now. (Have you  _ seen _ what oily hair looks like after three days of no shower? It’s not pretty.)

“I’m so fucking sorry,” Landa chokes out, safe in her little shield of blankets, and suddenly the emotional flood that had poured from the dam in her mind crashed through the aqueduct in her mouth. “I’m such a piece of shit. I-I should never have said what I said. I shouldn’t have used your past against you, and I shouldn’t have ignored you and, and Shiro after you guys got together. I’m sorry for not giving you the space you needed last week. I saw that you didn’t like my cookies and the notes, so,” Landa shrugged under her blankets, her eyes trained to the ground. “B-but I thought I did pretty good in the end? I haven't even been around to encroach on your space or whatever, so-”

A warm, dry hand clapped over her mouth, the rough with callouses dragging across her lips abruptly cutting off her rigmarole. Her eyes snapped toward Keith’s and was (again) taken aback by what she saw. She’d expected irritation and frustration, or maybe just a quiet acceptance, but she’s wholly unprepared for the distress on Kath’s face.

_ “I’m _ sorry.” Kath’s hand tightened over Landa’s mouth when she tried to protest. “No. Listen. I am. I know you felt bad for what you said. I saw how much effort you put in trying to apologize, and I let my pride and my anger get the best of me. I thought if maybe I avoided you long enough, you’d learn to, ah, to grow up.” She winces as Landa’s eyes flash in betrayal. “Trust me, I  _ know _ how shitty that is. I-I didn’t even think of what you must  _ really _ be feeling. I thought you might feel guilty or whatever, but I didn’t think that it’d be like  _ this…” _

Kath’s hand rips back like she’s been burned when Landa nips at her hand. 

“What the actual fuck, Kath.” Landa says, irritation coloring her weary tone as she rolls her eyes. “I mean, I guess maybe I deserved it, so I forgive you? I just- I don’t know what to do to make it better. I never want to see that expression on your face again for as long as I live. I was just jea-” Her teeth clack together as she finally throws up a wall to stem the rush of candor in time to for her to possibly save herself a bit of embarrassment.

“Jealous?” Kath raises a brow with a small smile, completely ignoring Landa’s plans to avoid this particular discussion. The betrayal is strong. 

Landa’s cheeks heat, her whole body cringing at her abject mortification. A chuckle from the doorway has her wide eyes snapping up to meet the other object of her unrequited affections, and like...just kill her now.  _ Dios _ could strike her down with lightning and she’s pretty sure she wouldn’t even be mad. A sliver of herself kind of wishes she could go back to feeling nothing right now because  _ wow, _ does this suck.

“You both already know, don’t you,” she asks, her tone falling flat under the weight of her discomfort. 

“Yeah,” Kath shrugs with a grin, Shiro nodding off to the side with her own grin, like it’s  _ nothing. _

Maybe, to them, it is.

“Did you come in here just to make fun of me?” Landa spits, and yeah, she knows she’s being irrational  _ again, _ but really. She’s glad she finally got to apologize, and the return apology from Kath was pretty rad too, but  _ really? _

“No!” Shiro and Kath blurt at the same time. They share a look, and then a weird, complicated conversation with their faces (and  _ damn, _ does Landa want that familiarity with someone...or someones) before nodding to each other, having come to some agreement Landa doesn’t understand. 

“Look, I know you didn’t mean what you said, and I know the only reason you’ve been a complete bitch to me is because you’re jealous. Of me,” Kath pauses, licking her lips nervously as her intense eyes bore into Landa’s. “And of Shiro.”

_ Mierda, _ they really do know everything. Landa closes her eyes in shame, opening her mouth to apologize for everything again when Shiro interrupts her.

“The whole problem boils down to communication. On all of our parts, we messed up. Landa, you let your feelings get the best of you, and hurt Kath in the process. Kath’s tactic to try and make you ‘grow up,’” she pauses to glare at her girlfriend, “was cruel, and let it get completely out of hand. I...I distanced myself from the situation because I believed Kath needed the space she claimed she needed, and because I didn’t know how to tell you how I felt. About anything.”

Landa’s brows furrow in confusion. “Okay, I feel like I’m missing something here.”

“You are, you big dummy,” Kath huffs, rolling her eyes, but it’s fond and her eyes of soft and playful. “You’re missing  _ us.” _

“Uh, okay. Yeah. Yes. I very  _ obviously _ missed you guys. That would be clear even if you didn’t know h-how I, uh, how I feel about you.” Landa squirms uncomfortably. 

“No, idiot, I meant you missed the fact that we have feelings for you too,” Kath sighs.

“What?!” Landa shouts, wincing at the pair of flinches at the volume. “I- Sorry. I don’t think I heard you right.  _ What?” _

“No, you heard her right,” Shiro chuckles, sitting down beside Landa on her bed. Landa’s brows climb high as Shiro looks to Kath, motioning for her to join them on the bed with a tilt of her head. Kath sits on Landa’s other side, and they press tight against the sides of Landa’s blanket burrito. 

“We should all talk about this later when you’re feeling better, but I think Shiro and I are on the same page when I say we want you with us.” Kath declares, and the emotional whirlwind after the vacuum of  _ nothing _ is making Landa feel dizzy.

“This can’t be real. Have I passed out?” Landa asks, baffled. “I know it’s been a few days since I’ve eaten, so it’s not out of the realm of possibility.”

She feels two bodies tense on either side of her though multiple layers of blankets. She swallows thickly as they both turn to look at her in horror.

“Have you seriously eaten  _ nothing _ in the past three days?” Kath asks, anger and bewilderment overtaking her voice as her eyes dance over Landa’s features.

“Maybe...?” Landa replies with a grimace.

“Okay, this has gone on long enough. You’re going to shower, then you’re going to eat, then you’re going to brush your teeth, and  _ then, _ we’re talking about this, this  _ thing _ between the three of us.” Shiro orders, using a commanding tone that sends a shock to Landa’s system.

She stands up, bringing the burrito with her. When Kath tries to disentangle her from her covers, she hisses, “do  _ not. _ I’m not taking this thing off until I’m behind a shower stall door. You do  _ not _ want to see the wreck under this thing.”

Kath backs off immediately, giving her the space she needs to head to the showers. Shiro smiles gently as Landa waddles to the door

Before Landa makes it into the hallway, Kath grabs Landa’s hand, turning her around long enough to press a chaste kiss to Landa’s nose. At Landa’s surprised expression, Kath apologizes again, admitting that she’d been wanting to close the space between them for  _ ages. _ Shiro pipes up that she has too, and Landa walks toward the showers in a daze.

For the first time in over a week, Landa feels alive with possibility.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! Comments and kudos are forever appreciated! <3
> 
> Next up: f!Sheith, "Past"


End file.
